Truth is better than fiction.  A friend told me about getting kicked out of Costco. You just can't make this stuff up. Here is the song: 

Kicked out (Datta 10/13/2019)

Dm Bb F C

1. I was kicked out of Costco but it’s not what you’re thinking

Not for eating all the samples after I’d been drinking

Not from paying pennies when I did have cash

I was kicked out of Costco for doing some math

2. I was having a gathering for a close group of friends

And my sweetheart warned me- be careful what I spend

So I grabbed a cart- then I had a thought-

I should figure this out and see how dear it will cost.

Chorus) They kicked me out- Shout it out----- get out 

3. I was pushing my cart and roaming the aisles

Writing down the cost of roast beef and pies.

Wine and cake --beer and iced tea.

Getting math right is important to me 

4. When a tough guy stepped up to me with a fearsome frown

Blocked my path and asked what I was writing down.

I said Sir step aside there’s no need to be so crass

I am writing down prices and checking my math

Chorus

5. He and a larger friend took me by the arm.

I tried to back away-- told them I meant no harm

They claimed from Sam’s club- I don’t know this Sam

Why would I join his club? HE KNOWS NOT WHO I AM

6. So I gathered up my dignity and my shopping list

And I walked out the door yelling I’ve had enough of this.

You can keep the bulk items- the crates and the bales

I’ll go find the one called Sam and see what he has for sale.

Chorus x2